Happy Father’s Day

“A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him.” Proverbs 20:7

Many years ago, when I first came upon that scripture in my bible, I circled it, and simply wrote, “Barry.” It seems truer now than ever.

My late husband Barry wasn’t perfect – but I know he deserved the #1 Dad coffee mug, even if he did snore like a Grizzly bear and complain about the location of the t.v. remote far too much for my liking. He was the proudest dad of our ten children – six boys and four girls.

When I ask the children what they miss most about him, they always answer me, “His advice.”

I miss his advice too, very much. Eight years my senior, Barry seemed like the ‘adult-ier adult’ in the room that I looked to when I was hesitating to make a decision.

I frequently remember his actions in the past to help guide me and my children’s futures.

I want to share a story that floated to the surface of my mind this morning as I woke up. A lesson in kindness that taught me a lot, both then and now.

Before I met Barry, I had been an exchange student in high school and it changed my perspective on the world, in a very positive way. When the opportunity arose, I jumped at the chance to work for an exchange student organization. Barry and I frequently hosted teenage travelers from around the globe, even though it meant disruptions to our regularly scheduled child raising. Our spare bedroom served as the United Nations on many occasions.

One of these students was named Martin. If memory serves, he was from Sweden. He arrived at our home but he was heading towards another host family. Our home was just a quick way station along his journey.

I am unsure what poor Martin was thinking when he dressed for his international flight that day. Maybe he was dressing to impress. He arrived in very uncomfortable men’s dress shoes – on a hot summer day – and the airline had misplaced his luggage, so he couldn’t change into more comfortable footwear, like sneakers.

Barry and I didn’t have as many children as we do now – but we also didn’t have a lot of spare money, and he knew that well, as he watched diligently over our finances.

Barry was raised in abject poverty. The kind of poverty that Charles Dickens wrote about. Barry learned to toilet train in a dark, spider filled outhouse. This was in the 1960’s – not the 1860’s. He was raised in his early years by his grandparents and they lived in a shack. He had known gut clawing hunger. He told me he had hid in the closet sometimes, drinking artificial maple syrup. Barry never forgot where he came from, and never stopped fearing the wolf at the door. This is why he worked so hard. Barry frequently said, ” I just want my children to have better than I did.”

So, when Martin arrived, with shoes that hurt his feet and no means to get comfortable replacements, Barry didn’t hesitate to drive Martin to our local shoe store and bought him a new pair of sneakers. Barry knew that he’d have to work a little extra that week to make up the difference in our budget.

Barry said to me, “If this was one of our children and they were far from home and miserable, I would hope that someone would show them the same kindness.”

For Martin, it was simply a pair of shoes from a stranger, probably quickly forgotten. For me, it was ‘a righteous man walking in his integrity’ living out the following command of Jesus in one sacrificial gesture.

 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

For my beloved children ~ you are blessed to walk in the footsteps of your father, who still loves you with all his heart.

Happy Father’s Day

Love, Mom