Faith

Thoughts on Healing

On October 12, 2025 by Elle R.

Well-meaning family, friends or strangers tell me that I will heal or that God will heal me.  As much as I believed that when my husband first died, now I have a much different perspective on healing.  Allow me to share my thoughts.

Recently my son Beck called me and said he was on his way to a local urgent care after breaking his finger at work.  As a mother of six boys, I know if they can personally call me, chances are they’ll be fine. I employ the British Ministry of Information motto – “Keep calm and carry on.” 

Beck’s x-rays revealed the newly broken finger bone, but like an archaeology dig, they revealed a hidden secret from the past.

Five years ago, I received a completely different phone call. Beck had gone on a sleepover to his (best friend’s)  friend’s house.  The home was located on a lovely, wooded property complete with a frozen pond, immediately inviting the teen boy’s exploration.  The trio went off to have their winter fun.  Beck was only there for thirty minutes before disaster struck.

I received the phone call from the other boy’s father.  They were en route to the hospital, and could I please come?

My mind quickly translated that as ‘more urgent than an urgent care facility could handle.’  Beck hadn’t just broken his finger; he had crushed it down to the bone.

I learned later that he and his best friend had decided to lift a very large rock – requiring two teen boys to lift it should give you a mental picture of the size – and they had intended to swing the rock onto the frozen pond, to break the ice and listen to the interesting noise it made when sinking to the bottom.

They agreed to time their throw. On the count of three….

One… lifting of the rock.

Two….swinging of the rock.

Three…. The rock was fumbled and crushed the tip of Beck’s index finger, exploding the skin and flesh underneath.

Beck ran to a nearby tree, the pain and the gruesome view driving him to his knees. His friends ran for help.

I received the call. The friend’s dad told me that Beck’s finger was in very bad shape.  I have a strong stomach, but I knew seeing Beck in that condition might make me cry, and I didn’t want to be ‘that weenie mom’ so I sent my husband Barry to be ‘the strong one.’

Beck arrived home with his finger heavily wrapped in gauze after the tip was  (thankfully) stitched back together.  His mummified finger was kept clean and protected. I took him to months of physical therapy afterwards to strengthen the finger again.

On the surface, Beck’s finger had healed, albeit with a small scar. However, his recent x-rays uncovered clear evidence of his previous injury. The distal phalanges of his right index finger  ( fingertip bone) were severely stunted in growth.  The doctor told Beck that the bone should be much larger but was closer in size to his pinky fingertip and it was directly related to the crush injury.

On the surface, Beck’s finger had ‘healed.’  Underneath is where the trauma was recorded bone deep.

His x-ray gave me pause.

My heart is well and truly broken, and there is no sugarcoating it away.  I do not think I will ever ‘heal’ from grief, as I will not ‘heal’ from loving Barry.  Grief is love with nowhere to go.  I love my husband to the cellular level, to the very marrow of my bones.

An MRI exam of my left hip shortly after Barry’s death revealed that truth. My body was stimulating new bone marrow which can be done at my age, usually only brought on by profound stress.

I wanted to know what the Bible says about being brokenhearted.

If I remained at a surface exam of the Bible, I’d be tempted to take this verse at face value, but it’s not physical healing Jesus is speaking of, it’s spiritual.

Luke 4:18, Jesus said, “The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.”

Setting the stage – Jesus was reading from the book of Isaiah to his hometown crowd of Galilee. He was a guest speaker at the synagogue that day. By the end of his sermon, his neighbors literally tried to chuck him off a cliff. Rude. They didn’t want to hear they were sinners. Spoiler alert, Jesus walked right through the crowd and they didn’t get to toss him off the cliff, but Galilee lost its spot on the “Top Ten Places to Live in Israel” list.

To preach the gospel to the poor: Sin impoverishes, and the Messiah brings good news to the poor.

· To heal the brokenhearted: Sin breaks hearts, and the Messiah has good news for the brokenhearted.

· To proclaim liberty to the captives: Sin makes people captive and enslaves them, and the Messiah comes to set them free.

· Recovery of sight to the blind: Sin blinds us, and the Messiah comes to heal our spiritual and moral blindness.

· To set at liberty those who are oppressed: Sin oppresses its victims, and the Messiah comes to bring liberty to the oppressed.  *

Bottom line – What will my healing look like?   Will it mean no more aching for Barry, longing to have him hold me, no more uncontrollable weeping that wracks my body and brings me to my knees?   Will it mean no more days when I am so angry at death and the people who just ‘don’t get it’ that I could cheerfully hide from humanity for a straight month rather than hurt their feelings? Will it mean freedom from having to make more decisions than I ever thought I would have to make?  Will it mean I will stop looking for my children’s father, expecting him to be there?

No, no, no and no.

Grief is not a disease to be healed from, it’s a heart condition to be lived with.

So, what does the Bible say about the ( physically) brokenhearted ?

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18.

Jesus knows EXACTLY how I feel and is right next to me in my heartache. He is still saving me as I am crushed in spirit. I am not forgotten by my Lord.  I love Him and He loves me.

Safe in that knowledge, there is a version of healing. It looks like comfort. The Lord has big shoulders and can take every single bit of how I feel.

My life will someday look ‘healed’ on the outside. But, like Beck’s finger, my heart and its brokenness cannot be seen, but is forever there. I am permanently changed. But Jesus promises to be near my broken heart, and that is a deep comfort.

(1*) Commentary courtesy of David Guzik, Enduring Word

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