Mondays, Dog Barf, and God

I saw a t-shirt for sale that had this written on it. “Dear Monday, everyone hates you.”

As a homeschooling mom of a large family, I can sometimes really agree. However, you have to be willing to take what God sends you and work with it.

The good. The bad. And the dog barf.

Monday mornings at our house always start slowly, with lots of moaning and groaning and complaining about schoolwork. Then the kids tell me to stop it and put a smile on my face.

Just kidding, the moaning is mostly from the children.

I began the day with bible study – trying to share with the kids that in the book of Acts there is this poor young man named Euthychus who falls out a third-story window during a prayer meeting because he falls asleep. (Acts 20: 7-12)   Makes falling asleep in the church look pretty innocent, doesn’t it?

I was honest with the children and told them that when I first read it, I literally laughed out loud. Ok, maybe I have a twisted sense of humor, but it struck me as something you would see in a Saturday morning cartoon.

I said to the kids, “Eutychus needed a Red Bull.”   (A beverage in the U.S. touted as an energy drink.)   My 14-year-old son countered with, “Red Bull is supposed to give you wings though.”   (The slogan for Red Bull being, ‘Red Bull gives you wings.’)

My 13-year-old son said, “Eutychus wasn’t John Wick.”    John Wick is a fictional assassin who miraculously survives a fall off of a New York City hotel at the end of the third movie in the franchise.  Sorry for the spoiler alert for any of you who didn’t see the movie.

I shared with the children that Eutychus was trying really hard to stay awake because Paul was preaching late into the night because Paul was never going to be in that neck of the woods again. It’s a bittersweet bible study. The story ends with Eutychus dying from the fall, but he is resurrected and goes on to be all right.

But this is not what the kids will remember because before I could tell them that Eutychus had a more miraculous survival than John Wick, our dog began vomiting all over the living room carpet.

FOR REAL.

My response? I shook my head and grabbed my phone so I could play the famous 80’s classic song, “Manic Monday” by The Bangles with the volume up high.  The teen boys started complaining that they didn’t like the lead singer’s voice. I doubt Susanna Hoffs will ever read this, so I can write this. 

(Random trivia – Prince wrote the song. Who knew?)

My soon-to-be 16-year-old daughter (the dog is hers) began to get ready to clean up. She had dishcloths and the spray bottle in her hand. But then she paused.

As if on cue, my 14-year-old son said, “Hey Mom, isn’t there a scripture in the bible that says as a dog returns to his vomit a fool returns to foolishness?”

Why yes…. There is……

“As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.”   Proverbs 26:11

Then the dog proceeded to eat what she had just heaved up.  FOR REAL.

After the drama died down and the carpet was scrubbed, we all laughed about how dogs and mankind haven’t changed much in the past two thousand years since the scripture was written.

Have you ever done something really stupid and vowed you would NEVER DO IT AGAIN? Then when the memory of the consequences of your stupidity faded, you went ahead and did it all over again?

I know I certainly have. I have to pray constantly to God not to return to my former choices.

As we say in my classroom ( with sarcasm)  “So what did we learn?”

1. Mondays suck.
2. Dogs are loyal, but disgusting.
3. Prince wrote Manic Monday. ( You’re welcome.)
4. Teenage boys remember scripture best when there is something gross going on.
5. Eutychus lived. But you’ll forget that, because of the dog barf.

Enjoy your weekend, dear reader. Watch out for Monday!

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