Keep me a Humblebee
On June 29, 2020 by Elle R.
Pop quiz – which bee is more efficient at collecting pollen? A honeybee or a bumblebee? Answer: the bumblebee. I won’t lie, I bought into the idea that because the bumblebee was, as Orkin pest removal says, “large in girth,” that this bee couldn’t compete with its “more slender” cousin, the honeybee.
Let’s be real, I was being judgy wudgy. In my human world, women who are heavier are perceived as ‘less than.’ Less beautiful, capable, intelligent, healthy. Untrue, but the perception remains.
The comparison trap is sooo easy to fall into. Allow me to share my recent fail. The church I attend recently changed leadership and brought in a new pastor. The pastor’s wife is a lovely woman, described by others as ‘energetic.’ Upon meeting her, I upgraded that description to ‘naturally caffeinated.’
I went home after meeting her and spent about a half an hour cataloging our differences. Don’t ask me why my brain does this. There were a myriad of differences. The most obvious difference between us was our energy levels. She brims with energy that rises to the surface like champagne bubbles. I live with chronic anemia which forces me to rest while I wait for an intravenous iron treatment. When my iron is really low, I spend time thinking that being a vampire would be a more efficient solution. (Minus the eternal damnation of the soul part, haha.)
Academically, she has a law degree. I have a library science degree. We both engage our brains and serve others, but in very different ways. My perception of being a lawyer means having to argue passionately for a living, but there is some glamor involved. If I argue with another person for more than ten minutes, I start to get worn out. I sometimes avoid socializing because it can be mentally and physically draining.
She is ten years my junior and she wants to attract younger people to our church. Before you shout, “That’s ageism!” It really isn’t. Our church members are aging and dying off, and if we do not attract young people, young families, our church will cease to exist.
Back to my judgy wudgy brain. I spent time thinking, “Why can’t I be energetic and bubbly? Why am I not a born project person? Why can’t I be bold and argue without getting a migraine? Can God really use a woman a woman of my age ( read: not ‘cool’ – no tattoos, piercings or hip clothes) to attract a younger group of people to the love of Jesus?”
Comparisons can be fine if they are just simple observations without judgments. Sesame Street type observations. Short, tall. Blue, green. Comparisons can be flat out sinful if they cause you to question that God made you the way you are because of His good will.
It’s like texting and driving. If you take your eyes off the road for just one second, disaster can happen. If you take your eyes off God and His word for just a second, you will forget that you are a divine creation, created with a very special plan.
The Bible is our GPS. I needed to ‘recalculate.’ I started with the fact that I am old enough to know that everyone has struggles, the pastor’s wife included. I just don’t know them yet.
I judged her energy level as ‘better.’ I don’t know what that type of energy might cost her in terms of emotions or time or relationships. I don’t know if she has ever tried to spin too many plates in the air and wound up on her kitchen floor a sobbing mess from overdoing it. Or taking on projects and having people not like HER because they don’t like change or the end results of the projects.
I judged being a lawyer as a profession that is intense but glamorous. Let’s face it, there are a lot of movies and t.v. shows that spotlight lawyers. Librarians….not so much. I don’t know what her law degree cost her. What if she has student loans that bog down the family finances? What if that is stressful? I know from experience that her degree cost her time, and she worked very, very, very hard for it.
I judged her age as ‘better’ because she could attract younger people to Jesus because she is one! But what if she frets over being too old? She might look in the mirror and see something completely different than I see when I look at her. Perhaps she has ‘those days’ when she looks in the mirror and sees all the flaws instead of the beauty.
The Bible says in Isaiah 45:10 – “Woe to him who says to his father, “What are you begetting?” In plain speak – “It’s really not good to say to God, “What do you think you’re doing making me?”
David Guzak writes, “Each of us has our strengths and weaknesses, and we each have our triumphs and challenges. We simply need to accept what we are before God and look for His redeeming, transforming power to conform us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.”
God made the honeybee distinctly different than the bumblebee. Honeybees are bubbly little social creatures. Bumblebees are social, but less so. They live in less populated homes under the ground. Their original name, “Humblebee” comes from the Latin word humilis ‘low, lowly’, from humus ‘ground’. They were literally known as humblebees because of their homes being in the ground.
God didn’t make a mistake when He made me different from the pastor’s wife. God can use me, with all my strengths and weaknesses. But only if I am obedient. Only if I remain a humblebee, grounded in His love and His word. Lord, keep me a humblebee.
Thank you for writing this. Our heavenly Father is so gracious with the reminders that He is the author of beautiful diversity and that He uses each of His children, 2 Cor. 12:12-31.
P/S the bumblebee looks really cute when it sleeps in a flower 😉
Thank you! It’s always to my detriment when I forget that I am not meant to walk someone else’s journey. God is very loving to use His creation to remind me.